I Am

I am a cutter, so what, does it look like I care?
It helps keep me alive, get me through my despair.
I despise being labelled, and when people stare,
Back the hell off, I don’t need you, this is my way to repair.

I am a mess, I know, but I’m still right here.
I just take what I have, but I hide from my fear.
But I soldier on, no matter how things appear,
I’m alone, but I’ll survive, no matter what comes this year.

I am a liar, that’s right, and I hide the real me,
There’s a side of me that very few people see.
I’m lonely, not strong, but my two faces disagree,
The forced laughs, the fake smiles, is just who I want to be.

I am a burden, It’s true, but I’m trying to change.
I always rely on others, it’s not a fair exchange.
I’ll start off slow, until I can find my range.
I’m trying, I’ll get there, even though it feels strange.

Friday, March 4th, 2011 Sad No Comments

I’m Still Alive…

The smoke fills my lungs,
The alcohol impairs my judgement,
The pills slide down my throat,
But I’m still alive.

My blade bites into my skin,
My mistakes scar my arms,
My tears run down my face,
But I’m still alive.

My friends believe my lies,
My hope begins to dwindle,
The one that matters most stays silent,
But I’m still alive.

Monday, February 28th, 2011 Sad No Comments

Pain

Pain’s sharp bite, it sets me free,
Allowing me self-control.
Its lingering embrace let’s me be me,
Never showing its toll.

Each time feels fresh, it brings anew,
A shining imperfection,
And allows me to hide the truth from you,
While keeping my affection.

The blade on flesh, its sting so bold,
Provides me with direction,
Allows me to voice my thoughts untold,
Gives my resurrection.

Teardrops of blood, they hold my pain,
Allowing my mind to clear.
The release they bring allows me to attain,
My presence without fear.

Sunday, February 27th, 2011 Sad No Comments

I Miss You

Bitter dreams and lonely halls,
My nightmares pervade these hollow walls.
My screams echo from near and far,
As I watch the light dim from my shining star.

As I drift, I look around,
There’s still one anchor to the ground.
A fire that won’t go out,
Always questioning my self-doubt.

No matter how far I fall,
It rings out above it all,
A single thread that holds me true,
Regardless of everything blue.

I can’t shut down while its there,
Even though I’ve been stripped bare,
One thing that always breaks through,
The presence that can only be you.

Saturday, February 26th, 2011 Sad No Comments

A New Life, With You

A smile, a whisper, it always shows through,
How much that I truly do mean to you.
A sliver of a dream, that I thought once may be,
Glows bright, a vision showing my dreams can come true.

Love’s breath, love’s touch, love’s tender kiss.
Without you, this is something I’d forever miss,
For it is I that has fallen, yes it is true,
Deeply and madly in love with you.

Life’s journey, that took me through good and bad,
Had led me astray, feeling lonely and sad.
But love’s warmth, a feeling that I never knew,
Took over with everything that I feel for you.

For it is you who is always the one on my mind,
And you are the one that I could never leave behind.
For I’ve given my heart completely to you,
And believe that we have a life to pursue.

You are everything I could ever want or need,
I believe in our future, and I know we’ll succeed.
My true love, my Mea, please come with me,
Shed our burdens, build new hopes, and let us be free.

Sunday, July 20th, 2008 Love No Comments